The high road . . .

by Kittyinaz | Jun 2, 2014 | Update

LMFAO!!!

What are we grateful for?

by Kittyinaz | Jun 2, 2014 | Update

Lol! I spawned an idea!! Love it!

Bill Compton- Tool, Foil or Lover?

by Kittyinaz | Jun 1, 2014 | Update

Holy Crap!! I love this!! She says everything I have been saying, and how the hell can the writers even think of giving what the fans want when it is obvious what we like. Then she goes through the seasons and shows how he is a tool. Go read.. It is awesome!

This Weekend

by Kittyinaz | Jun 1, 2014 | Update

So normally this is the time I highlight someone for the week, and give you videos to watch.  But today, I can’t.

See yesterday was a day of tears for me.

I woke up, knowing that the day was not good, but even though I hardly slept, I just couldn’t sleep anymore.  I had a birthday party to attend later that day for one of my nephews, an honoree nephew, but still blood, and closer than a lot of my family.I had got online, talked and did my normal things.

Then went to the party, and was chattin up people, playing with kittens…. Then…. Marty got the call we had been dreading.

To tell this, I have to go back to breakfast to tell you about dinner.  As my family describes my way of explaining.

Breakfast happened in 1994.  Marty and I had known each other for awhile then, and he asked me to date him on the morning of my graduation.  12 something am.  It had been a day of looks and so on, and everyone at our workplace working to get us together even my ex boyfriend.  So I was thrilled, and it has been a long ride.  Poor Marty, he didn’t meet just my dad, he actually met everyone.  And nervous as hell.  See everyone came to Tucson for my Graduation that could.  And that was a lot of people.  And he got to see me cry, cause I think I have mentioned I cry easily, and I was given my Afghan my grandma made me, one like my mom’s but grey.  I was given a hope chest basically.  It had the family recipes in it and made in a very nice handmade book, along with pictures of my life through then.  So yes, sentimental was the word for that night, and he was there for the entire time.

So it was fitting I got tossed in the deep end the next time his family had a get together.  Now.  I have never been the normal girly girl.  I hate pink to begin with.  I rather go out racing bikes and and running, climbing trees with the guys and play video games.  I was actually quite good at all of it, so calling me a tomboy would be VERY accurate.  I also was the oldest of my family.  I grew up with my brother, then when the steel mills shut down in PA, I moved to TX.  Then all of a sudden, I was always in charge of the grandkids.  Tiffany was my cousin.  I had her, my cousin Craig who is second in the family picked Amanda, and my brother didn’t have a younger one until Dillon was born.

And every time we got together, I was in charge.  My family allowed me to sit in with them when I was young, so I had no problem to be part of their conversations, and understood the real world very young.  That whole thing old soul in a young body?  That was me.

Marty’s family had him as the oldest, and they had always been sent off to play while the adults talked.  Marty was almost an adult and was told to go play with the other kids.  Until I came.

We went to his uncles house.  The kids sat there on the floor and talked and joked around.  I got bored and later that night, I sat down with the adults.  They all stared at me, but they were not rude.  Then Russ, his uncle, started to talk to me.  To say that they were shocked that I could hold my own with them.. well It was an eye opener.

I had no idea this was old.  I was raised to speak my mind, but years of public school had stripped me of it, because I didn’t fit in.  Bullies suck.

So each time I came around them, I would sit with them, and Russ often dealt me in with games, and the ‘kids’ became accepted at the adults side of things.  No idea that I was the reason for this.

Russ was a fun soul.  He loved the Broncos with my hubby, and it was awhile before I found out that Russ and Mike (Marty’s dad) were best friends.  He wasn’t Marty’s uncle by blood, but he was not thought of as anything but that.  He would encourage me to drink when they came around, and loved to tease me.  I was one of a few who would sit next to him, since I would take his teasing and learned to give it back.  Playing card games were a hoot, and sitting next to him was truly up to chance.

This man loved life, and while he drank when we were all together, he was a social drinker as was Mike.  It was my first encounter with people drinking alcohol that were what is referred to as fun drunks.  I was scared at first, but these two best friends soon wiped away the fear, and made it possible to realize that alcohol was not something to shy away from.

Russ also introduced me to new alcohol.  He would an orange liquor, and show me the way to drink it, heated up.  He loved that I hated beer, and refused to taste it anymore, however, he managed to get me to try different types of alcohol.

This man was a joy to be around, and I admit there were many times that shopping for his wife and him for Christmas, ended up really shopping for him.  He was blunt, unashamed and loved to push me.  And when my natural snark and stuff started to show up, he absolutely loved it.  He found that I soon lost that shyness, and will often surprise them with the knowledge I had in that noggin in my head.  Nothing was out of bounds to talk about in that family, and he used to laugh all the time when we talked about stuff at the Brandibur table that I swear to you, has NO shame.  That table had and has some odd conversations with it.

Marty and his sister were very close to him.  He was their uncle.

And Football.  Oh…my…God!!  The man laughed himself silly the year Marty’s team the Broncos and my team the Steelers, played each other during the playoffs.  He laughed and laughed at the two of us.  But that was nothing.  The superbowl is one I HATED.  Chris Miller was our quarterback and he threw the game to the Cowboys.  I ranted and raved and cursed the man.  Now, I don’t often be vocal with football, thinking it was funny when my family would be.  But that day I was SOO vocal.

And he and Marty were the ones to catch on that when I cursed a Steeler quarterback, they sucked.  Miller, gone.  There was some quarterback after him I hated with a passion. Then the back up quarterback I cursed when I said he sucked.  They tried to convince me that he was good, and I laughed at them. Then came Roethlisberger.  I told them I liked him.  And lo and behold, I picked a winner.  Don’t mess with my Steelers.

Then Marty and I had to leave.  We moved to Texas for jobs.  And it was hard.  But when we came back to visit, Russ was always there to welcome us back.  He would sit and talk to  me, and we would talk about anything that didn’t have motors.  I suck at motors.

Then came this past year.  When my uncle, dad and then Angela dying.  My mom having cancer.  I was packed away back to Tucson, to recover.  And we saw Russ.  He was a shadow of the man we knew, and I told them something was wrong.  And he continued to fade away alarmingly from Thanksgiving to after my birthday in January, it was shocking to see this robust man fading before our very eyes.

This past week his mom called us.  Russ had been given 6 days to live.  He was in pain, and they found large blood clots by his kidney and stomach.  He would die on the operation table and it was over.  We were told he was given to Hospice care to live his final days out happier.  Everyone told us this.  And we cried.  We looked at Marty’s vacation days, and tried to figure out what to do.

Marty asked me what I thought.  If I wanted to see my dad or granddad at the end, or was I fine with how things fell.  I admitted to him, that while I enjoyed the last day I spent with my grandfather, he wasn’t my granddad anymore, and I am glad I never saw him when he died.  I am equally glad my dad passed away and I didn’t see him that way.  I have memories of both of them, and while my grandfather was there physically, he had Alzheimer’s so he was gone.  I much rather remember the man who loved me and pushed my limits.  Same with my dad.  I mention I had made decisions when I was 22 that no child should make for a parent.  From that time on, he was a shell of my dad.  And I remember that, but I rather remember the fiery man that I knew as my dad.

I told Marty I would be there for him, but I will not visit Russ.  I rather have my memories of the man who loved to hand me his 2 of spades and take my ace and sigh.  Or the man who pulled one over and I traded him my 5 of clubs and he gave me a 2.  Ugh.  Sitting next to him made games of chance, real chance.

Marty finally decided he would wait for the funeral, letting his son and wife have the time with him.

Now we are back to where I started.  The call.  It came as a text during the middle of the party, and Marty signed what had happened to me.  And left to go outside when he could, to talk with the family. I sent a message to my Beta team, that it had happened.  Then I went out to be with Marty as he talked to his family.  We discussed options, and Marty told me to write, to do whatever.  He knew we were coming up to the completion of the awards, and wanted me to be able to keep myself busy.  He deals with his grief privately.

So we walked back in, and played with the kids, reaffirming life goes on.  Then Robin contacted me to write something for the Lifetime Achievement Award for Angela.  I came home after spending time with my family, and sat down.

I was soon bawling.  I wrote the tribute to Angela, and finally said my own goodbye to her.  I was crying so much at the end, I asked Meridian to beta it for me, and she told me she was crying.  I was still crying, and will admit I went through a half box of kleenux. Those cool touch ones?  Great when you are crying like that.  Just letting you know.

By the time the awards were sent, I was a mess.  But I couldn’t sleep.  I went to bed after 3 am, not able to handle any more.

This morning I woke up after 3 hours of sleep, was up for awhile, and realized, I felt like crap and was not going to really do anything.  Yesterday made me tired, and I was done.

So, I am sorry.  No happy me.  No Highlight of someone for this week.  No news updates on what I am working on.  No videos.

Instead I choose to honor a man who made a difference in my life, and who I will sorely miss.  I will also, finally, give Angela the rest she deserve.  And admit, My life sucks.  And laugh because its true but with my sense of humor, it fits me.

Wendy

PS.  If you want to read the tribute to Angela that had me crying, but lanced a painful open spot in my soul, please click here. Also check out Robin’s tribute video on the bottom of the list of winners for the awards.