Chapter 18 Everything That Kills Me Makes Me Feel Alive


Disclosure:  Twilight and Vampire Diaries are owned by their respective braianics that thought of it. 

Pre Edit Count –   2,452 Words

Song I listened to for this chapter: Counting Stars by OneRepublic.


With that he is out of the room, and Jonas quickly makes his way out of the house.  To say he had been terrified most of the day is a slight understatement. But he had not been dismissed, and Elijah had wanted him to cast some spells that he never got around to.  As they hear the front door close, Jasper hears something rolling over the windows and doors.  He looks up at Elijah.  “Is it for the storm,” he asks, indicating the storm which has only grown stronger as the time has gone by.

Elijah smirks.  “Damon has nothing to fear from any storm.  He is locking the house down and caring for his mate.  I suggest you do as he wishes.  Or you might have something to worry about from the storm if you interrupt them again.”

With that he turns and grabs Demetri, and leaves a very confused Jasper in the library.


The following morning finds Damon looking down at his mate, watching her face as he moves inside her with her legs wrapped around his waist.  They had made love last night for hours, and this morning he had woken still inside of her.  And naturally, he woke her up by bestowing kisses everywhere he could reach.  He wanted, needed, her again, and knew she would feel the same way.

Now they gaze deeply into each other’s eyes as they move as one, each taking pleasure as the other gives it.  Damon moves one hand to cup her face tenderly, and kisses her, and only smiles as he tastes his blood in her mouth.  They had exchanged so often that there is no way they are not joined by blood.  And he doesn’t care.  Every exchange has had a religious feeling as they take each other in.  Her drinking from him was nothing he will ever share with another in the room, nor would he want someone in the room when he drinks from her.  Often neither one remembers much between the frenzy they’ve recently been experiencing and their instincts demanding more and more of them.

This time as they climax, there is no exchange. Instead they were too busy kissing each other and showing their love another way.  The moment is as soft as the sunlight would be if the shutters were open.  Bella didn’t need to feed and they were doing this for the pleasure of being as close as two beings can be.

Damon rests on her with his arms holding her close to him.  During one of their lovemaking sessions last night she had admitted that she enjoys when he does it since it makes her feel safe and loved.  And since she is as strong as he is, he doesn’t have to worry about hurting her.  Even if it did, he would feel it and know to move, probably before she could even speak.  But right now, they are just resting with each other, glowing with coital bliss with their love almost a physical haze around the two.

Finally Damon raises his head to look her in the eyes, “Hungry?” He could search their Bond and find out, but he knows she still feels odd with the closeness of the Bond they have.  So he asks, since he also loves to hear her talk.

Damon and Bella 2

Bella just smiles at him. “For?”  She then does the same thing to him that he often does with her as she memorizes his strong features, knowing she will awaken to them for the rest of eternity.

He grins at her. “Anything.  Name it, and it shall be yours.  My blood?  Done, you can drain me, my love, and I will happily give it to you.  Food?  I will go fix you a feast.  Making love?  I will gladly service you mia carissima.  Jewels? Give me time, and I will gift you with enough that you won’t need to wear anything but them.  The very stars in the sky?  I will bring them to you.  Everything and anything you wish for or dream of, I will get or do for you.  Just ask me.” He nuzzles her throat as he finishes, then lightly nips at her earlobe.

Laughing at her mate, Bella informs him softly as she holds him close to her, “I want you to love me.  I don’t need anything but you, Damon.  God, you are a romantic, but I am so happy we found each other.” She pulls his head back at the last word, looking up at her mate with the same love in her eyes for him as he has for her.

He just smiles at her, doing as he does every morning, committing her face and now her body to his memory.  He just tells her with that morning gruffness males have after waking, “You have my love, my body and my soul.  And only for you, mia carissima.”  He nuzzles her, and asks again, “What are you hungry for, my love?”

She stretches underneath him and tells him, “I guess we better head downstairs and make breakfast.  We also have to deal with the mess from yesterday.  I am guessing with how you are, there is no chance for a shower today?”  Her voice is not the dead one he had heard yesterday when they had first been up here, and he had encouraged her to relax and deal with everything as she wanted. But the dread of dealing with it all is still there.  She just didn’t know what to make of Jasper and the things he had said.  If he were family, then so be it.  But he will have to work to gain her trust again.  However, his statement of killing for her bothers her.  It’s one thing for Damon or Elijah to do it, but Jasper?

Reacting to her emotions and his own instincts, he growls, “Only if you don’t mind me making love to you again afterwards.  My scent is all over you, and that is what has finally settled me.  There is no way that anyone can replace it or even think you are not taken.” Though he knows that his scent is as much a part of her as her own is with him, his beast is calm, knowing that she smells so much of him that no one can think otherwise.

Shaking her head she scoots back to sit against the headrest, Damon moves up beside her, lying on his side so he can face her.  That he can also trail his hand down her body and map her out with his fingers is just a bonus feature. Damon had issues keeping his hands from her before they were mated, now it is a constant need to touch her and to have her within reach.  It is one of the things he wishes he could ask about.  Right now, Bella is fine with it as she has the same need, but he worries that it will make being apart for any amount of time later pure misery.  His Bella is independent.  He never wants to take that away from her.

She closes her eyes in enjoyment of his touch. “I don’t want him, or anyone who is not you.  I know you could feel my feelings last night.  Did you feel anything from me about him that gives you this thought?” She plans to talk to Elijah about this need to touch.  She revels in it, but how long can they go before they are tired of it?

He answers her as he is being distracted by her body’s reaction to him, “No.  I know in my head and heart that you are mine.  But my vampiric instincts are demanding retribution from the two so-called hybrids.  But what I don’t get is why Jasper thought you were his mate?  I thought you said he was already mated?” The question is there, spoken out loud.  There is much they don’t know and they both seem to hunger for information about what is going on.

Watching him as he looks up at her with adoration clear in his eyes, Bella tries to answer the question. “I don’t know what happened.  I also caught that bit about how they had chained him up for a month after they left.  Why would they do that?  Did they really think he was my mate and that’s why he thinks so?  Or did they plan this?  But Elijah even said he felt the pull from Jasper.” She shakes her head, not understanding what is going on, and why so much seems to be happening around her.  Where was all this stuff from earlier in her life?

He sighs, then sits up and pulls her into his arms. “I don’t know, carissima.  But knowing you, we will find out soon.  Let’s go ahead and get dressed, and start solving this mess.”  Then he kisses her on the head, “After I feed you.” He is determined to care for his little mate since she seems to not take care of herself very often.  It is one of the things he adores about her, that he can allow his nurturing side out with her.  She really is his other half.

Damon holding Bella

With that she laughs at his determination as he drags her out of bed towards their closet.  She jumps on his back, and he takes her to the room he had told her was built with him in mind.  He will enjoy filling it with more clothing for his adorable mate.

Making breakfast becomes a much livelier event than they had anticipated.  Elijah had met them as they walked down the stairs with a hug for his daughter and a nod to Damon.  Bella had hooked her arms through both men’s arms as they head to her kitchen.  Soon they are all cooking a large breakfast, working together as they talk about random items, including which alcohol everyone prefers.

This is what Jasper walks into, and he just stops and leans against the wall, watching them all, and feeling them out with his gift. He is wearing a black long sleeve hoody, and his green eyes are moving as he watches all the occupants in the room.  He had time to think last night, and while he is not sure that Bella is not his mate, he can respect the power of the males around her.  The implied connection of the storm and Damon had not escaped him, nor his memories of Damon’s stormy eyes.

There was so much love for Bella in that room that it is staggering to his senses, and all of it is reciprocated by her to them.  He can sense nuances like the fact that Elijah is a father figure to her.  In fact, the love for each other completely eclipses Bella’s feelings for her biological father.  And her emotions had always been stronger than a normal humans, more pure.  So to feel this is confusing, what had happened that caused Bella to love this man more than Charlie?

Elijah 4

And then here are Damon and Bella.  Their love is deep enough, strong enough even, to set fire to the world.  There is nothing but pure love, devotion, respect and adoration of each other from them.  Their love was something he has never came across, not from any mated couple he had ever felt, and this is disconcerting to him.  Was Elijah right when he said that mating meant much more in their kind than the Cold Ones?  He had never sensed emotions like this from any vampire or Cold One he has ever met.

It confuses him.  He can feel the tie to Bella, but now that he is looking for it, he can feel a lighter version of it to Damon.  Does this mean that they are all mates?  But the reaction from Damon and Bella it is telling him that they don’t feel the pull the same way he does.  When he got the call from Peter to follow the pull and protect her, he could have sworn it meant that the pull was one of mating.  Not even Carlisle and Esme had a pull as strong as the one he felt for Bella.

While Jasper watches, the three others have noticed him, but with the looks and emotions they can see crossing his face, they give him time to think through it all.  If it has been hard for them to accept, they can appreciate how hard it would be for someone thinking for years that a person was their mate only to find out they are family, instead.  Well, the time apart had allowed for new thoughts to sink in for all of them.

When the large breakfast is ready, everyone grabs their plates and drinks, telling Jasper, “Grab yourself a plate, and we’ll talk outside.” Bella brings the drinks for her and Damon, Damon following with the plate he had stacked high with food for the both of them.

Jasper is startled, but he does as they say.  One of the things he loves about being a hybrid is that he can actually eat.  Though he will admit that being able to go outside in the sun without a ring is also a huge plus. Especially since he has seen the man who he is sitting down to eat with kill a bunch of other vampires with a few thrown coins.  He had been passing by, and it was something he never thought he would ever witness.

He follows them outside, and is shocked by the pleasant outdoor area.  He trails them to the chairs, and cautiously sits down. He is wary.  The memory of how easy it was for Elijah to kill those vampires, and the ease of both Damon and Elijah in capturing and holding him, make him cautious to be in their company.

Elijah just chuckles.  “Why so nervous, Jasper?” He had been thinking about this new relation, and while he is not happy with him, he also realized that at some point in time his daughter will forgive the man.  He may as well deal with it now.  He will not deny Bella any family, not after seeing how deeply it had affected her to find another one.  Damon’s reaction and the talk in the kitchen had let him know she felt like she had been abandoned by her living family.  He thinks about how much of a shame it is that Klaus is being the way he is; he suspects his brother would love his niece.

Jasper looks up at them and lifts an eyebrow. “Let’s see, Damon here wants to kill me, you will kill me if I kill him, and the woman I have spent the time since I last saw her killing for, trying to find, and thinking that she is my mate, only for you to tell me that she isn’t. And don’t forget Demitri downstairs in your cell. So what is there to make me not nervous?” He doesn’t mention the coin incident, not wanting whatever the reason Elijah had killed those vampires being one he gets killed for.  He narrows his eyes as he remembers someone like Damon being in the room too…

Damon laughs from where he is sitting with Bella on his lap, feeding her a bite then taking one himself.  “If we did want to kill you Jasper, we wouldn’t have had you in a guest room last night and we wouldn’t invite you to breakfast.” To him, it is as blunt as that.  It had also been one of their conversations.  Bella had admitted that once they figure out what is going on, she wanted to like Jasper.  He had been one of the ones who had treated her fairly, and she was sure that the bite incident was not his fault. But she did want to see how he reacted before allowing him to be family.

Damon and Elijah had looked at each other, and said nothing.  It is evident that they will have to get used to the hybrid.  Family is just too important to her.  And she is too important to them to ignore her wishes.

Elijah watches them as he enjoys breakfast, and finally tells Jasper, “We don’t know how you are connected, but you are family.  While you are not my heir, you are mine.  So relax, and once we are done, we will find out how you fit into all of this.  As it is, we had no idea that Bella is a hybrid, but I really don’t think she will be like you guys.” No, she feels like them.  Though Damon told him that she has always tasted of something more, so he suspects that the venom is in them both, and it just cements his belief that they will be unusual.

Jasper shakes his head. “I am unsure of how Damon is alive.  From what I can smell, they have shared so much blood that their scents are no longer separate.  To do that, they would have had to replace half of the blood in each other with their own.”  And it makes him angry, no matter how much he tries not to think of it. But until he is proven otherwise, he still thinks Bella should be his.  He has just spent too much time thinking she is his mate for a few words to prove him wrong.

Nodding her head, Bella looks up at Damon. “That feels about right.” She is being civil, giving Jasper his chance.

Jasper just stared at her in shock.  “But you just turned yesterday, right?” There is no way they should have that much blood exchanged between the two of them.  If this is true, maybe this is the way Damon is holding her to him?

Damon feeds her another bite of his pumpkin pancakes. “Yep.  But she is a newborn. She needs so much blood, and she gets it from me.  It makes sense when you think about it like that.”  He is still guarding his mate, but he is also seeing what Jasper will do with them not treating him as an enemy.

Thinking over the amount of blood Bella will be needing and how new she is, Elijah nods. “Bella is actually pretty tame for a newly risen Vampire.  I suspect it is their mating. I do know Damon’s thirst will lessen, as will hers.  But right now, the mating is driving them to exchange as much blood as possible.  Soon there will be no difference between them.” He grins at the two of them.  Truthfully, there is no difference in his Bond to them both.  It just tells him that they have exchanged often enough that the call of his blood in her is now between the two of them from the exchanges.

Jasper puts down his fork and leans back, brow furrowed.  “I don’t get it.  Why would they want to drink from each other?  There can’t be any nutrition in that.” He cannot understand the method behind it.  He knows Peter and Char share blood, but they both drink from other sources.

Damon snorts as he feeds her another bite. “Blood tastes like shit now.  Bella’s blood is the only one I crave.  But, I still have to drink from a bag or a human.  Bella cannot drink from anyone other than me.  In the shower we tried just to see if she could drink bagged blood.”  His eyes narrow to a slit as he remembers the pain his mate went through when they tried, even though it had been at her insistence. He had told her never again.  Her pain has almost doubled them both over.  “Needless to say that was a spectacular rejection.  Nope.  I will happily ingest the blood needed to sustain us both, and she will drink only from me. With all the other benefits we got, it is not something major.” Not that it mattered, it is life now for them both.

Jasper shakes his head and leans forward on his elbows. “But what if you are hurt?  How will that work?”

Damon and Bella exchange a look, and Damon lifts an eyebrow at her.  That had been the argument which had persuaded him into allowing her to try even though they had been told it wouldn’t be possible.

Elijah laughs at them, knowing that had been Bella’s reasoning. Maybe there is something to Jasper and Bella being related. “First, I want to see them hurt.  It is hard to hurt mated pairs.  Even now, the only other pair is still alive, through all of the trials they had to suffer.  Sage is half of that pair, and somehow she is still alive though it has been a thousand years since she last drank any blood.”  It had been one of the things he had been curious about, and in fact he had called her last night to confirm it.  She told him how hungry she is, but that she violently rejects any blood she tries to drink.  She moves slower now, but she told him it was like she was in suspended animation body-wise.  Nothing was happening to her which would be the same for Finn.  Elijah had promised again to find her mate, and to allow them to reunite.

Damon raised his eyebrows as he thought back to his time with his mentor.  “I never noticed.  But then I was young, and when she declined to feed with me, I figured she was just being private.” He shrugs as he feeds Bella some more food, watching her lips wrap around the fork.  He chuckles as he feels her amusement at his lust for her.

Just shaking his head at the information they are giving him, Jasper states, “This is unbelievable.  You’re telling me that there is a vampire who has not had blood all that time, and she isn’t desiccated?  How in the hell can that be true?” He had seen what happens to their type if they don’t have blood.  Cold Ones turn to stone, it becoming harder and harder for them to move.  But seeing the mummified bodies of such vampires had made Jasper swear to never do that to another unless they fully deserved it.

When Bella sighs, and he feels how full she is, Damon finishes the last bites of pancakes, then settles back with Bella curling in on him.  He tells Jasper, “Because of the magic of mates.  Finn isn’t dead, just suspended between the waking realm and the other side.  She can’t die, because he isn’t dead.  It is part of the reason Bella decided she wanted to be changed.  Until we fully mated, there was a chance that we could lose her or me. Now, we have a lot going for us.” He wraps an arm around his mate, rubbing her back as he rests his chin on her head, just feeling comforted by how close she is.

Jasper shakes his head. “Bella, you gave up your humanity for this?” His voice is hard as if he is accusing her of giving up something she had no right to give.

Picking up on the tone, Bella raises her head and she stares at Jasper.  “I gave up nothing.  I didn’t want children, and I couldn’t grow old with Damon.  I was not going to leave this world and leave him suffering.  How cruel are you, Jasper?” The last is said in a whisper as the thoughts pain her, and she can feel Damon’s purr erupt, while somehow there is a growl at Jasper for questioning his mate in this manner.

He growls at her for questioning him.  “I have killed for you, Bella.  I have done things that would make you shudder in your sleep, all for the chance to let you lead the life you wish.  I did it all for you.  What makes you think I don’t have a choice in your life?” He looks at her incensed that she didn’t give a thought to what he has endured and done for her.

Bella leaps from her seat and is in Jasper’s face before he could register the move. “I have never asked you to kill for me.  I do appreciate it, but I have realized that my own stupidity is the reason I may have died at an early age, and my family would have had no idea what happened to me.  But that does not give you the right to control me.  Damon is as old as you are, both in physical age and in vampire years.  He does not treat me that way, and neither will you!” The last is shouted at Jasper, her own growl erupting from her chest as she stands up to this hybrid who thinks he has the right to order her around.  Not even Elijah has tried to do that and he has more right than Jasper!!

Damon and Elijah watch the two, and the slight growl coming from Damon is the only sign that all is not as calm as it seems on the surface.  Both of them are more than ready to put down the hybrid, but they respect Bella enough to allow her the chance to put the hybrid in his place.

Bella is growling so hard she is vibrating as she stares down Jasper.  Jasper is also growling, as he sneers at her, “I thought you were my mate.  I get a call to follow the pull, and to defend the object.  I was more than ready to do whatever it took to make you happy as my mate!” This female better back down, he will not accept this behavior!

She lifts an eyebrow as she folds her arms and stares him down.  “And because I am not your mate, you have the right to tell me what to do?  You have NO right.  I can and will kill you if need be, Jasper.  Now get your ass in gear and wise up.  The world is not what you thought it was.  You can get your act together and learn about the world you belong to, or you can just take your ass out of here.”  While this has been going on, clouds are starting to gather overhead and there is a slight rumble of thunder.

Storm clouds

Elijah notices and mentions, “Weird weather lately.” It doesn’t bother him what Damon does with the hybrid; he is just surprised that Damon would resort to his Elemental powers for Jasper.  There is no reason to, unless he is wanting to test their idea…

Damon looks up, and he checks himself. “Yes.  So odd for this time of year.  Wish I could do something about it.” He then returns his gaze to his mate and her confrontation.  He trusts her, and will watch her as she asserts herself.  But he can guarantee his beast will not allow the other male to lay hands on her, hence the need to keep watch.

Elijah raises one eyebrow as he looks at Damon, and then looks at his daughter.  She is an Elemental too?  This information is surprising to him, and he wonders if she is the Elemental, or if it is part of the sharing of powers Sage had mentioned.  Then he shrugs.  It really doesn’t matter in the long run.

Bella has picked up on the byplay, and she doesn’t bat an eyelash.  She is still staring down Jasper, waiting for his answer. When he doesn’t react, she prods him. “Well, cowboy?  What is your answer?  You going to get yourself in gear or you going to skedaddle out of here like a yellow belly coward?”

Final count:  4,642 words.



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  1. JeskaK

    Ooh. What will Jasper do? Love this story. Can’t wait for the next chapter (:

  2. Dark-Supernatural-Angel

    Still loving the growing dynamic between Damon/Bella.

    It was awesome to see Bella stand up to Jasper and shout like she did. No one shall talk down to her.

    I hope Bella is controlling that storm…it would be so cool if both D/B could do it (though I hope she doesn’t have the same level of power that he does…maybe in strong emotional moments then that’s when she’s clearly an elemental).

    Great job
    Update soon

  3. Tiffany

    Love seeing romantic and nurturing Damon and that ending has me chuckling.

  4. jazzatazz1994

    Omg loved it!!! I love bad pass bella!

  5. Gabby

    I can understand why Jasper feels the way he does, but he could go about the situation in a much better way. I’m very excited to see what Jasper will do. Can’t wait for more!

  6. dashuria embel

    aww…such a tender moment shared between them…oh damon, i’m hungry too!…teeehee…so good for them to have these kind of moments, just being with each other & revel on their newly mated status…oh jasper, jasper…tsk, tsk,…i reiterate my previous opinion of you, you’re such a mowon!…telling someone to their face that you killed for them, you expect bella to fall down on her knees in gratitude?…first off, you jackass, she didn’t ask for it…secondly, because of it, you don’t have the right to tell somebody how they would choose to live their lives & who to spend it with….c’mon bella, smack him good…hehehe….ooh, bella is an elemental too?….that’s not surprising since b & d are mates…you, our beloved author already alluded that our darling mated pair would share everything…*wink-wink*…anyway, enjoyed reading the chappie, would love to see bella and/or damon rip somethin-somethin from jasper to get him to listen/understand….lookin forward to the next update…


  7. Tracey Buie

    love that with each chapter, Damon and Bella get closer and closer…. swoon…. Elijah just fits right in with them too. Hopefully Jasper will not continue to be an ass and will actually learn something. If he doesn’t I vote to have Bella ‘lightning bolt’ him. LOL

  8. gwynwyvar

    Ooh boy. Mate or not, dors Jasper serioisly think he has a say on is acceptable behaviour from Bella?
    He needs to wise up quick, before Bella makes him her first crispy critter experiment!

  9. Amanda Rae

    god jasper is so annoying in this and I usually love his character

  10. geenakmom

    Would love to wake up to Damon that way every morning.

    Elijah, Bella and Damon all work together and compliment each other in their family dynamic, Jasper can see this clearly. So I don’t understand why he has to rock the boat.

    Jasper is sure acting like a jackass. Telling Bella he’s killed for her…ahh…hello she didn’t ask for you to. Plus thinking she needs to back down and be in her place. Wtf?

  11. andrewpine

    Guess she is straightening him’s her way or the highway,lol. can’t wait until the little boy shows up and tries his bull crap on her.guess Klaus and Katherine will be showing up sometime soon.then there is ms.Vicky and her vendetta also.also we will get to see insane Esme and her endless tears and hand ringing.along with Emmett and his bitch of a wife.their dance card will be full for awhile i believe.


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