Pre Edit Count – 1,223 Words
Song I listened to for this chapter: All That I am Asking For by Lifehouse.
*“Come for a walk with me,” he suggested in an unemotional voice, taking my hand.
I didn’t answer. I couldn’t think of a way to protest, but I instantly knew I wanted to. I didn’t like this. This is bad, this is very bad, the voice in my head repeated again and again.
But he didn’t wait for an answer. He pulled me along toward the east side of the yard, where the forest encroached. I followed unwillingly, trying to think through the panic. It was what I wanted, I reminded myself. The chance to talk it all through. So why was the panic choking me?
We’d gone only a few steps into the trees when he stopped. We were barely on the trail-I could still see the house.
Edward leaned against a tree and stared at me, his expression unreadable.
“Okay, let’s talk,” I said. It sounded braver than it felt.
He took a deep breath.
“Bella, we’re leaving.”
I took a deep breath too. This was an acceptable option. I thought I was prepared. But I still had to ask.
“Why now? Another year-“
“Bella, it’s time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he’s claiming thirty-three now. We’d have to start over soon regardless.”
His answer confused me. I thought the point of leaving was to let his family live in peace. Why did we have to leave if they were going? I stared at him, trying to understand what he meant.
He stared back coldly.
With a roll of nausea, I realized I’d misunderstood.
“When you say we-,” I whispered.
“I mean my family and myself.” Each word separate and distinct.
I shook my head back and forth mechanically, trying to clear it. He waited without any sign of impatience. It took a few minutes before I can speak.
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll come with you.”
“I’m no good for you, Bella.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I wanted to sound angry, but it just sounded like I was begging. “You’re the very best part of my life.”
“My world is not for you,” he said grimly.
“What happened with Jasper-that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!”
“You’re right,” he agreed. “It was exactly what was to be expected.”
“You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay-“
“As long as that was best for you,” He interrupted correct me.
“No! This is about my soul, isn’t it?” I shouted, furious the words exploding out of me-somehow it still sounded like a plea. “Carlisle told me about that, and I don’t care, Edward. I don’t care! You can have my soul. I don’t want it without you-It’s yours already!”
HE took a deep breath and stared, unseeingly, at the ground for a long moment. His mouth twisted the tiniest bit. When he finally looked up, his eyes were different, harder-like the liquid gold had frozen solid.
“Bella, I don’t want you to come with me.” He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying.
There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent.
“You…don’t…want me?” I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order.
I stared uncomprehending, into his eyes. He stared back without apology. His eyes were like topaz-hard and clear and very deep. I felt like I could see into them for miles and miles, yet nowhere in their bottomless depths could I see a contradiction to the word he’d spoken.
“Well that changes things.” I was surprised by how calm and reasonable my voice sounded.* (Meyer, 2006)
Edward started to say something, and I cut him off before he had the chance to do more than open his mouth. “So, you have lied to me all this time?” My voice was still calm, not showing the fury I was beginning to have as my mind thought out what he was saying to me. All those promises and declarations of love were untrue?
His stare was unchanging as he commented, “I have never lied to you, Bella.”
I looked at him, my gaze never wavering. “Yes, Edward. You have. You told me that you were my mate. That you loved me. But I can see how some of this is my fault. I never stood up for myself lately.” I started to get angry at myself for allowing myself to trust him so much. Had I been that eager for someone to love me?
Edward shifted slightly. “Bella, I have never lied to you. I never said you were my mate. Look at you, you are a human, how would I know you are my mate?” His look was full of ridicule.
I scoff as I move around slightly. The fury I was feeling was indescribable. “No, Edward. You did tell me you were my mate. But it doesn’t matter, does it. I don’t want you. Why would I want someone like you? But then I should have known. Once a liar, always a liar. Leave, Edward.” My eyes were hard as I looked at him.
He stared at me. He opened his mouth and I interrupted him again. “Leave Edward. You have wasted enough time with your lies. Since you have no intention of staying, I will figure out how to deal with any issues that come up. I need to start moving on since I am just human.” The flinch I receive from him is gratifying.
He moves away from the tree he was leaning on, coming up to me. I backed away from him. “Edward, leave. There is nothing more I want to say to someone like you. I will talk with Alice later.” And she will be answering some questions of her own and be getting a lesson in real Bella.
He looks away. My anger skyrocketed. “They are gone, aren’t they? That is why I haven’t seen them. How did you get Emmett and Alice to leave?” The last was said through my clenched jaw.
I looked at him then shook my head. “You know what, never mind. Leave. I want nothing to do with you nor your family if they can leave me that easily. It is for the best that this happened now rather than when things get tough. Now I know who really has my back.”
With that I turned away and walked back to the house. Edward suddenly appeared in front of me. “Bella-“
I ignored him. I moved around him, and was inside the house. I threw the lock and slid down the inside of the door.
Everything was a lie. I couldn’t trust anything they had told me. None of it makes sense. I couldn’t understand why they played the I-care-for-the-human-game? I sighed and leaned my head against the cool door.
After a few minutes, I got up and moved to the kitchen, my body running on remote as my mind turned the facts over in my head.
When I reached the kitchen, my temper flared as I saw the note that I supposedly left. How dare he!
My temper stewing, I made the resolution that I would not be that Bella any more. No, Pushover Bella is now gone. The new Bella is not going to fall for men as easily.
With that resolution, Bella made dinner for her father and herself while she planned her future.
Final count, 1,296 words.